Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Insight

I don't even know that I'm old enough to be writing an autobiography, since the big TWO OH still has not hit me yet, but I thought it would be a fun way to pass the time until that hour comes when I shall doze off.

Autobiographies are generally indulgent, if you were to ask me. I have tried to write an autobiography for years. Why? Because only when it is all on paper (or screen) will it all seem real. From where I sit today, my life seems as odd and ethereal as a dream or non-linear movie.

I love my life. I am a happily struggling medical student, have hobbies that cost rather than pay, am within the protection of a loving family, am blessed with physical health, and enjoy active participation in my social, spiritual, and freelance lives.

Many years back, I was a boisterous, frolicsome girl in a pretty dress. You wouldn’t fancy getting on my bad side for I was known for antics such as leaving fried meehoon in people’s desks over the weekend so that their place will stink horribly on Mondays (bonus if they put their books in without checking!) and also slapping people if she thought you cried too much - all before my 6th birthday. In short, I was little, cute, yet loud and annoying.

However, those handful of years being raised as a second child - that is before Aimi came along - were essential to my personal maturation and the lifelong appreciation I would have for everything that does not come easily. Several years after that, school came and left, and I had already established an identity as a quirky individual with a capacity for strong imagination, lighthearted attitude, quick thinking, lame-ness, and boundless energy.

I was blessed with the opportunity to go to a boarding school when I was in Form 4. So, my high school on SEPINTAR was just awesome and I can say that I enjoyed my life there.

As a little girl, I wanted to be many things. I clearly remember wanting to be a cashier. Big bucks there!! The next phase I remember was wanting to be a rubbish collector. Don’t ask me. I was little and besides, I figured that I’d get to ride the big rubbish truck all day. haha. Can hardly fathom what kind of joy the little me could possibly get from that. Next up was a rockstar. I guess I just didn't realize at a young age you must be able to carry a tune to make a living at singing. huuuu~

Time came for me to take off my rose-coloured glasses and thankfully, running behind all these things was ‘doctor’.

With His letting, granted I am the opportunity to pursue what I 'love' and what I will always enjoy doing despite the absurd demands of the profession. I can vaguely recall thinking to myself “I’m going to be a doctor” but as I began to get a grip of who I really am, I developed a strange liking for art.

But it was certainly not always this easy and dandy. It has taken age, experience, and growth to get to where I am right now, not to mention the valuable support of friends and family and the help of many helpful contacts I have gained along the way. Although one’s life could be expressed in a dozen lengthy tomes, this here is a mere summary into my Earthly existence thus far. My complete autobiography would take many more pages to fill than readers are happy to review. :)

In 20 years time, like a good many people, I would like to be a woman that has worn many shoes and hats in her life time. I know I am a simple girl but I have great expectations to where my life is going. To share these life experiences with others, are the goals I have set for myself. The colorful characters that I see in myself are like multi-personalities. All different and individual from one another. It is something I can replicate and carry all through my life. Though sometimes I see myself as a boring person trying to escape her boring deluge by writing nonsense on her blog. Urf.

On the spiritual side, I am thankful for every sunrise because I know that it was not promised to me and it is only through God's love that my life has substance. Best to leave it at that :)

Now, my mummy told me that its not sensible to put every minute detail of one's life online for all the world to see. Perhaps it is better for me to sign off here and leave the rest to you to figure out for yourselves.

Goodbye :)

gambar sekadar hiasan.

4 comments:

Zawani Zainudin said...

man~ what drove you writing an autobiography?? =)

it's just sweet reading someone else's (especially those who u particularly know)

mayb i should write one too =)

GuGu said...

zwen>> haha. tyme ni kte sgtttttt boring...
btw, u should've write one, but jgn bejela2 sgt kot. ur english dhlaa bgs amat sgt.kang kte kene bkak kamus lak. weeee~~

Zawani Zainudin said...

huhu. if i were to write, x bleh 1 je kot. mst ad part 1,2,3. tmbh prolog n epilog skali. tp bleh la kot nk try =)

sakuradila said...

u're one of the strongest and ambitioug girl i ever met...
you'll be strong throughtout ur journey aiman...
bittaufiq!